I hate myself... this few days... but it's a personality thingy...

To be honest... I hate myself for everything...

I can self-entertain, but because I feel that I grown-up alone...

I'm happy, but because I felt much unhappiness to myself and looking at the bright-side make life seem easier to past...

I tell people I have enough love (now), but because I can't feel love from friends and family, so how can I have not enough love?
(Simply to put: If I can't feel love, no matter how much or how little love, it is still zero...)

I feed fake "reality" to my mind, but because I don't want to face the fact...
(Probably too humble)

I keep lying, but because saying opposite direction of what I meant would hide my true feeling...

I hate being jack-of-all-trade, because I'm a master of none but also the personality of different trades contradicts....

BUT...

Self-entertainment make life more interesting for myself and sometime others, others also won't have to worry about me being bored~
Cause: there are times when your on your own and independent would bring much greater sense of achievement...

Looking at the bright-side, make life more happier and enjoyable, without a chance of suicidal thoughts~
Cause: its pointless to make conclusion when you haven't even reach your end of the road...

Love and hate co-exist together everywhere, if you love someone, probably you will hate someone else more/easier. So no love, no hate, no problem, no life...
Cause: I strongly believe in ying and yang or simply everything have a balance...

Different personality react differently to different situation, giving different outcome. But the decision lies on the individual conscience and character his made out of..
Cause: I know my personality, feeding it the right information would roughly produce desire respond...

Not being real to my true feeling is just a way to express my shy personality...
Cause: I know sometime true feeling and intention is misleading and often bad...

A little hard to describe...
Cause: my study personality is intelligent, quiet and patient... my event planning personality is very creative, noisy and steady... my personality with friends are crazy, impatient and irritating...